Where to work and what next

Before  attending University I had no REAL plan, I knew I enjoyed drawing, animating and creating things, I just didnt know what I wanted to do with it. I had a set of skills I developed over the years and not sure where to go. During my first year of college I studied four subjects; Graphic design, fine art, photography and DT, in our second year we were asked to choose just one subject from the four. For me, hands down, I chose fine art. Only a few other people were in that class with me, but for me the ability to draw, paint and express my self freely was important. In that last year I honed my drawing and painting skills. I liked the idea of being a concept artist. As a big fan of video games and cartoons the idea of being part of that creative process sounded like a lot of fun.

I chose illustration as a (hopeful) segway to this "dream" though when my second year rolled around I began to realise that Illustration was more than drawing pictures and infact involves many different medias. Developing these skills was not only fun but was also and important part if my learning. 

While I studied I worked part time at greggs to get me through the years, this became difficult due to my health complications so I lost alot of shifts, money was tight as I was pretty much finacially on my  own, When times where difficult I actually opened commissions on my deviant art, Specialising in more anime-esk cartoonish work I didnt expect much to come of it at first, small pieces, little money. Then I was given a some what... erotic? commission request. It wasnt an art form I was UNFAMILIAR with, it just wasnt one I ever conisdered going into, but times were tough and I accepted the commission. The researcha and referencing I had to do was unlike any kind i had to do before (IM sure you can imagine) But I got it finished and the client seemed to like it and i certainly didnt question them. That was a long time ago but i have since taken "erotic" commissions, when money was tight (I'll spare you the examples)... though Im embarassed to admit it. Though as my motivation dwindled with art and illustration my commission flow has stopped and Im not exactly sure how eager I am to get back into it. 

Having learnt more about myself, my skills and reasons why I draw I have began to warm to the idea of using my art in meaningful ways. For a while I've considered going into teaching (as my mother did) I loved kids and naturally (maybe in part to me being on the spectrum) get on very well with children, understanding them and having more patient with them that the average adult. I often found myself being the resident baby sitter at family gatherings. Using my mom as a key connection I began voluteering at the school she worked at. My mom however works at a closed unit, which is a smaller class of students that main stream schools "don't really want" kids that are difficult or even vunerable. I very much enjoyed this experience, and was praised for how well I was doing. After volunteering there I began to feel a sense of wanting to help, and using art is a fantastic way to do that. To encourage vunerable or mis-understood kids and teenagers te express themself as a form of relief or counsil. As someone who has struggled with mental health since I was a teenager I have experience of being tossed around the CAHMS system then istantly dropped the second I turned 16, left alone with my still strained mental health. I want to look into creative therapys for the times talking for one hour a week doesnt cut it. 

This new passion I developed has influenced the way I thing and produce work, in recent months I've had exactly no motivation to pick up a pencil and draw, though as I look more into working with my mom and going into that kind of work I have foudn the calling of my table getting louder again.